In Slovakia, people do not pick up chicks or cruise for guys. Instead they hook (zháčiť) or pack (zbaliť) someone. When hooking and packing, everything you say counts. For this reason, here is a guide of the most commonly used words to help you get to work; or perhaps just to understand what those guys at the next table are saying.

First, find your age group. Adolescents (chalani - boys, baby - girls) prefer zháčiť. Meanwhile the older generations seem to prefer to zbaliť or to hunt (loviť) as in "I'm going on the hunt" ("idem na lov").

To identify an attractive girl, you might say "to je ale kosť", literally "she is a bone", which is not as lewd as sounds in English; it merely means "she's an attractive girl". If this is true, you can say "stála by za hriech" - "she's worth a sin". To discuss men, "má dobrú kostru", literally "he has a good skeleton" says that a guy has a nice body.

What happens once someone is hooked, packed, or hunted down? If two people are good flirters, they may manage to get vzrušení (excited), a word with sexual and nonsexual uses, or nadržaní (horny).

There are endless expressions for what could happen next, but decency requires I leave you to find them on your own.

But not everyone wants to be packed. When someone's advances are unwelcome, Slovaks say choď preč (go away) or strať sa (get lost). And when someone gets really unpleasant, they might say "sklapni!" (shut up) or "drž hubu", which has the same meaning but is literally "hold your mushroom".

Just beware of holding your horses so much that you end up spending the rest of your life as an old bachelor (starý mládenec) or a spinster (stará dievka). To avoid such a fate, it might be safer to skip the pick-up lines and ask someone on a date. If you are going to go after someone (ísť po niekom) in order to start a relationship, you need a different vocabulary. First there is randiť, to date. You can say "randím s ňou/s ním" ("I'm dating her/him"), meaning that you are at the beginning of a relationship and meeting in public places: "v štvrtok ideme na rande" ("on Thursday we are going on a date"). When some time has passed, you should switch to saying "chodím s ňou/s ním" ("I'm going out with her/him").

On the other hand, you might decide to break up (rozísť sa) with your lover. Or you could even be dumped, at which point it is better to say dostať košom, literally "to get (beaten) with trash". "She dumped me" translates as "dala mi košom". Finally, dať kopačky niekomu is to give someone a kick with a soccer cleat. This commonly used expression, I have been assured, does not have the irreverent sound it does in English. Once you have been dumped, you need only this good old standby: "Mám ho/ju na háku" meaning "I don't care about him/her." Yeah, right. By Eric Smillie,

Spectator staff